XX and XY: Mitosis vs. Fission

In my past entry “The Ballad of XX and XY”, the decision of calling my friends XX and XY was purely for the sake of retaining their anonymity, which i.e. is a little silly since separation and divorce are hardly anonymous acts. However, since I wish to remain anonymous in my own blog, I would assume the same for XX and XY. Therefore, the choice to define them separately as chromosomes was born from the desire to create a universal communication. XX equals female and XY equals male… we can all relate.

As the ballad of XX and XY continues I’ve been trying to comprehend for myself what divorce really is, what it looks like on a cosmic level, and how to visualize something so simple and yet complex at the same time. From an elevated perspective it seems very basic. A unit of one slowly begins to shift and change in shape, until its desire to separate becomes physically evident, and terminates in the radical act of pulling itself apart into two autonomous units. The two newly-formed units then continue to move forward in the world on their own. They will forever be marked by their union, but will learn to function independently as well. Coincidentally, the image that has come to mind, offering me an odd sense of comfort, is mitosis.

I wonder, is separation simply mitosis on a grander scale? And if so, if you never divorce, have you managed to create the perfect cell that never feels the need to replicate? Maybe mitosis is a better image for marriage and children and not for divorce? Or is mitosis more about the self, defining how we change and grow, placing more of our selves into the world? Maybe it better defines how, as individuals, we grow to touch others? Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Maybe I take it all back; maybe the image that I am actually looking for is nuclear fission, the ripping apart of an atom’s nucleus and the explosive aftermath that it causes. In fact, XY even used the metaphor of an atomic bomb in describing his current situation. Unlike mitosis, the separation in nuclear fission isn’t so clean and pure. Instead, the split spews forth a mess of subatomic particles that release tremendous amounts of energy. Energy that is negative to those who come in contact. And speaking as someone who remains in close contact with the original atom, I have experienced its truth. It seems that radiation really does burn the flesh, and even more so, the heart. I look through old wedding photos, I ponder memories of feeling safe in the presence of XX and XY, I have become aware of how adult marriage feels and how humbling and returning-to-ones-selfish-twenties its counterpart divorce can seem. I don't know how to deal with this. It makes me feel like giving up, but what I'd be giving up on I have yet to figure out. I wonder how many others are also experiencing fission's fallout?